Sunday, February 13, 2011

Haiku Series (published in parts): A Series of Haiku on a Single Sight:

Far the hills run to ring
around the valley
could her voice spread so far?

1 comment:

  1. honestly, not feeling these last two as much

    I think I would make a distinction between a symbolic statement and a symbolic description. I would say your first two haiku published here were making both, while these most recent haiku are merely symbolic description.

    If I say, "the drums are strong, their unseen notes enthrall" that is a symbolic description; if I say, "the drums are strong, their unseen notes enthrall, the blood I shed tonight is on the drummers hands" that is a symbolic statement. (It's not the best example; I spent like 2 minutes making it up so, hopefully the point is apparent enough.) Anyway, it's the symbolic statement that I felt was lacking in these more recent haiku. Now, it's admittedly just my personal opinion that they are rendered better by the inclusion of that aspect; ultimately that's for you to decide yourself, but I still thought I'd mention it.